Can I start by confessing that forgiveness is hard? To be completely honest with you, this is a subject that I have wrestled with and journaled about during my personal prayer time multiple times. It started as a desire to not forgive specific people that had completely betrayed my trust and then opened me to the realization that, at times, I do not want to forgive myself either.

My journey has required a lot of self-awareness, love and most importantly, a total dependance on God. After all, He is the ultimate Forgiver. He forgives prostitutes, liars, betrayers and whoever else or whatever else it is that you are currently struggling with. Please don’t misread me. This is not a blog talking about how you should not feel anger, betrayal, sadness or even disgust for the wrong that was done to you. However, we will talk about how forgiveness is a journey that Jesus invites us on. He invites us to grow in this area, walk with Him, question Him, fail sometimes, receive His grace, ugly cry if necessary and ultimately, come to the conclusion that we need to obey His word.

As I have been praying and meditating on this subject, I started thinking about Jesus being at the cross and saying “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” My question to Jesus was how? How can you ask the Father to forgive them when you are in so much pain? How can you forgive when they are lying about you? How is this fair? The Bible goes on to say that,

Luke 22:44 “His sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.”

That shows me that He was hurt and anxious beyond what I can imagine. So how did He go through it and what does He invite us to do? Here are a few points for your consideration:

1. Pray that you will not fall into temptation.

So often, we navigate life’s challenges and relationships without much prayer. Instead, we use our own wisdom, we seek advice from our friends and try to rationalize our hurt by society’s standards. In reality, we are asked to think on Kingdom’s standards. These standards do not align with our natural instincts. I think that we can then easily fall into the temptation of not forgiving and choosing to deal with life in our own way. If we choose that route, we are taking things into our own hands and seeking revenge, thinking that it will give us the peace we so desperately long for.

I have learned that I need to pray, just to not be tempted to have resentment and unforgiveness towards others or myself. I need to pray and ask for supernatural strength because if the son of God was betrayed, surely, I need to know beyond a shadow of doubt that I too, will be betrayed. People will hurt you. But with prayer and with God’s grace you will be able to act like Christ and forgive them.

2. It’s okay to find the process of forgiveness excruciating and hard. Forgive anyway.

When I am struggling to forgive, a recurring thought is, what will I do with this pain that I feel down in my chest? Sometimes I cry it out to the point where I feel numb. Sometimes, I am so angry I do not know what to do anymore. But when I read that Jesus Himself was asking the Father in Luke 22:42: “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done”; I find comfort in knowing that I have company in the midst of my deepest, darkest pain. I have come to understand that maturing in Christ is saying: “not my will, but yours be done”. I would not have chosen to go through this trial, I do not understand why it happened, but I will trust Your goodness, Your unending love and forgive even though the pain was excruciating.

3. You will be strengthened.

I know that some of you will read this and think, ‘Charlene, you have no idea what I have been through and the pain it has caused me.’ And you are probably right. I do not know what you’ve been through. But forgiveness has never been something we can do on our own. The Bible says in Luke 22:43 that: “An angel from heaven appeared to Him and strengthened Him”.

Dear friend, please insert your name and know that as you are trying to forgive the unimaginable, the Lord sends His angels and His Holy Spirit to you, to strengthen you and enable you to forgive that person. Please know that God weeps with you for the things that have happened. Know that forgiving that person will only lead to you being more free. The enemy wants you to stay resentful, angry and tormented by your past. As you forgive, know that you will be obeying the will of the Father. We have been instructed to forgive as we have been forgiven. As you forgive, you will be opening yourself up to hear: “well done, good and faithful servant”.

As you forgive you will be saying YES to God and allowing yourself to partner with the Holy Spirit so that, together, you can achieve the unimaginable. You will let go and look forward knowing that when you partner with God, all things are possible.

 

Prayer:

Father, I pray for the person reading this today. You know what they have been through and the hurt they experienced. You know the images in their minds. You know how unfair and how ugly it got. You are the Prince of Peace who restores the dead things. Restore what has been destroyed in them. Mend broken hearts, great God that you are. Breathe new life into them. Allow them to forgive and to be set free from resentment. Give them wisdom to know what boundaries to put in place and how to deal with this specific person. In the mighty name of Jesus I pray, Amen.