James 1:2-4
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

In my own life, I’ve walked through many trials – some that have shaped me in ways I never expected, and others that were lessons for the moment, teaching me to trust God on a deeper level. In the midst of those trials they often felt insurmountable, like I couldn’t possibly get through them. But looking back, I realize they were life lessons in disguise. The hardest part is not understanding it at the time, and sometimes we never do fully understand. We struggle with perspective, don’t we? We only see what’s in front of us. But God sees the whole picture. He knows exactly what He’s doing. I can’t say I considered them pure joy when I was going through them, so I’m still a work in progress. 🙂

It’s hard to pick just one trial to talk about, because some of my lessons were so significant. But today, I’ll share one that stood out to me.

When Pastor Peter and I got married, we had this beautiful vision of our family. We talked about having four children. We both came from small families so we thought it would be wonderful to have a bigger family, perhaps, God willing, 4 kids. After we had our daughter, we waited a few years before trying for another, believing that having a second child would be just as easy as the first. But as the years went by, and after countless doctors appointments and tests, we couldn’t conceive again. There was no clear medical reason why. At the time, it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever faced.

When our daughter was around four, she began asking for a sibling. And my heart broke each time I would answer, “We’re asking God for another baby, but it’s up to Him.” This was never the plan we had for our family. And on top of that, I had to gracefully respond to comments from people who assumed they knew my story – people who told me I was being selfish for only having one child.

I began answering the question, “How many kids do you have?” with, “We just have one, but we really wanted more.” That became my defence. But in a strange way, it was a lesson in compassion – a lesson in withholding judgment. We never know the full story behind someone else’s choices or struggles. It’s so easy to make assumptions and project our own beliefs, but it’s incredibly unkind to put that pressure on others, especially when we don’t know what they’ve been through.

Then, during one of my fertility tests, I sat in the waiting room, surrounded by women who were all desperate to have children. I could feel the weight of their longing and frustration. Their voices were heavy with heartache. And in the midst of all that, I heard the Holy Spirit whisper, “Stop striving.”

That was all I needed to hear. After that moment, I never went back for another appointment. It wasn’t easy, but I knew that I had to surrender it. The lesson I learned was straight from Proverbs 16:9: “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” This wasn’t the family we had envisioned, but I had to learn to surrender my expectations and trust that God’s plan was better than anything I could have imagined.

It was a hard, painful process – letting go of my own desires and plans. But looking back, I see how God has walked with me through it all.  It’s also helped me to comfort and encourage others who struggle with infertility.

This journey taught me that surrender isn’t just about giving up – it’s about trusting that God knows exactly what He’s doing, even when I can’t see it.

God knows everything, and His love for us is beyond measure. Will everything that happens always make sense to us? No. Will we sometimes struggle to understand His ways? Absolutely. But here’s the truth: through it all, we will learn to trust Him more deeply. We’ll be shaped, our character refined and our perseverance tested. And in the end, we’ll discover a hope that doesn’t disappoint. So even when the path feels uncertain, we can be certain of this: God is working in us, and His love is the anchor that holds us steady through every storm and every trial.